Billy The Kid

From the album "The Key to a Happy Life - Disc 2"

Billy the kid was a bad lad, everybody knows,
All excepting his mother who called him Twinkle Toes.
She spoiled him something rotten with cookies and bottles of Coke,
But he cried out for whisky and wacky baccy to smoke.
Oh Billy the kid, oh Billy the kid, cried out for whiskey's what he did.

Billy the kid was a bad lad, didn't know wrong from right,
But he wasn't afraid of anything, like falling from a great height.
He climbed up on the church roof and stripped off all the lead.
Until the local vicar said, 'It's raining on my head.'
Oh Billy the kid, x2, stripped off all the church roof's what he did.

Billy the kids was a bad lad, they said his home was deprived,
With its TVs, laptops and mobiles, and a Bima parked outside.
It's a hard life on the welfare, the family did agree,
So he went out house-breaking upon a burgling spree.
Oh Billy the kid, x2, went out house-breaking's what he did.

Billy the kid was a bad lad, never learned to read or write,
But he wasn't really bothered so long as he could fight.
And if anyone called him stupid he'd smash 'em with his fist.
If there were GCSEs in punch-ups he'd be on the A star list.
Oh Billy the kid, x2, no GCSEs in punch-ups for our kid.

Billy the kid was a bad lad, the magistrates all said,
But he's too young for prison so we'll give him a chance instead,
To meet a nice kind lady social worker for a chat,
Meanwhile he can keep on thieving, I'm sure the lad would like that.
Oh Billy the kid, x2, kept right on a thieving's what he did.

Billy the kid was a bad lad, always on the run,
So he nicked a motorcycle and shot off like a gun.
Joy-riding round the city the old Bill could never win,
Till he ran into a brick wall and that was the end of him.
Oh Billy the kid, x2, ran into a brick wall's what he did.

Billy the kid was a bad lad, everybody knows,
But the angels didn't want him nor the devils down below.
'He's just way too much trouble,' Saint Peter said, 'Amen.'
So we're sending him back to Gateshead to start all over again.
Oh Billy the kid, x2, sent him back to Gateshead's what they did.